Parallels
by Jeva
Summary: Kuroba Kaito had thought he'd known how things worked in the real world... but what if all he had known turned out of be the false reality? Men in black out in the open, an innocent thief charged for murder, and a detective who knows more than he lets on.
1. Looking Glass

**Parallels  
**_Looking Glass **  
**_

-

Katio was pretty sure he was in a nightmare.

The night before, he'd come back from a particularly horrible experience at a heist involving a hawk, rubber bands, and priceless nude statuary sore and tired. Not up to being more cautious than he should have been, he'd just dragged his sorry caped behind home, shed his hat, monocle, cape, jacket, and tie before collapsing onto his bed. He'd clean it up in the morning, he'd reasoned to himself. No one came into his room without his permission--though he wondered if his mother had peeks once in a while out of habit.

The next morning, he found that the world as he knew it did a turn-around while he was asleep.

"Kaito. Get up. You're going to be late." The teenager burrowed deeper into his pillow and blankets, muttering about Sundays and days off. "Kaito..." That was when his brow furrowed in confusion. That wasn't his mother. And since when did Hakuba--

_Hakuba?!_

He sat bolt up-right, nearly colliding head-to-head with a frowning Hakuba Saguru, detective who supposedly knew Kaitou Kid best. Kaito pointed at him, shouting, "What are you doing in my room?!"

The blond's brow furrowed. "Waking you up, idiot. And I would have gladly let you over-sleep if Shinichi hadn't asked."

Kaito spluttered in blatant confusion and bewilderment as Hakuba turned away, putting his hands on his hips as he looked at the other bed--

_Since when do I have two beds...?_

"Good morning, Heiji," Hakuba said as he pulled the blankets off the bed, revealing a boxer-clad Osaka-jin who merely curled up and grumbled at the loss of his warmth. "Come on," the half-British detective said primly while Kaito stared at the scene before him. "Heiji, you have a class at 8:30. It's already _8:15_--"

_That_ got the dark-skinned teenager shooting out of bed and rushing through his morning routine, shouting, "Why didncha _tell_ me that _before_?!"

Hakuba tossed the blankets back onto the bed and sighed tiredly. "I _told_ you that you should _set your alarm last night_--"

"Bidmot!" argued Hattori Heiji, his mouth full of toothpaste and toothbrush which he then spat out before diving to the ground and sticking his head under the bed. "Where th' hell did those shoes o'mine run offta--?

"I believe you already put them on," Hakuba informed him calmly.

Hattori froze, sweatdropped, and then stood up. "Oi," he said, a strained smile slowly appearing on his face after a moment as he eyed the blond suspiciously. "What _time_ didya say it was?"

Hakuba crossed his arms. "8 o'clock."

"LIAR!" A finger jabbed into the calm teenager's face. "Ya said it was 8:15!"

"It got you up, didn't it?"

That made the anger quickly disappear. "Oh, well...yeah, guess it kinda did, didnit?" Hattori said, laughing a little in embarrassment.

Hakuba leaned to the left in order to look behind Hattori and at the other teenager still in bed. Kaito sat up a little straighter when the suspicious and stern gaze landed on him, feeling like he was being blamed for something he hadn't done...yet. "And why aren't you dressed, Kaito? You were the first to wake up."

Faced with two detectives' curious stares that early in the morning had Kaito poking his fingers together awkwardly. "Well...that is..." and then he was reminded of his situation with one glance back at the pair standing in front of him. "Wait a minute," he muttered before looking around the place. "This isn't my room!"

He then looked down at himself and gawked in disbelief. "And who took my _clothes_?"

Hakuba and Hattori shared confused and puzzled looks, making Kaito jump to his feet on his bed, clothed in nothing but a pair of blue boxers with rubber duckies which _wasn't_ what he'd worn to the heist. He pointed at the two detectives and stated quite calmly, "This is an elaborate prank to get back at me for making you tantei look like idiots before you arrest me."

"Tantei?" Hattori asked, bewildered, at the same time Hakuba said, "Kaito, are you sick or something?"

That stopped the magician cold. No, he hadn't been imagining it. Hakuba had been calling him 'Kaito' almost as casually as the British accent came naturally. And Hattori just looked plain confused when he'd called them detectives...

Kaito lowered his arm to his side, staring at the two uncertainly before asking, his use of the Poker Face only keeping the most of his nervousness from showing, "Just where the hell am I and what is going on?"

-

-

If there was one thing Kaito hated as much as fish--and that was a hard thing to level up to in Kaito's opinion--it would probably be doctors. So it was only natural that he'd put up a fierce fight as Hakuba and Hattori wrestled him into some clothes and dragged him out of the room, down the hall, and to the doctor's office. It was for his best interest, they said. Something _had_ to be wrong with him if he couldn't remember the place he'd come to just last night, they said. Takagi-sensei was really nice, they assured him.

_Isn't that Takagi guy supposed to be a detective-police guy?!_

As it was, Hattori and Hakuba were both bigger than him and soon had Kaito sitting awkwardly on the examination bench, twitching whenever 'Takagi-sensei' touched him with his instruments and then doing things like checking his pulse via his wrist and--

"Well," Takagi-sensei said, stepping away while Kaito shuddered and muttered about 'heebeejeebees' and 'fish'. "He seems perfectly healthy. He doesn't seem to have any injuries that could be creating this kind of amnesia--"

"Amnesia?" Kaito asked confusedly. "You think I--"

Hakuba stepped between the doctor and Kaito and then pointed to the Osaka-jin standing a few yards away. "What's his name?"

The confused teenager answered hesitantly, "Hattori Heiji..."

"How long have you know each other?"

Kaito frowned, sweatdropping when he remembered past heists. "Didn't we just just meet today?" he asked, laughing nervously.

Hattori sweatdropped and scratched at his neck. "That's weird. Knowing my name'n'all but not when we met?"

"Ara?" Kaito blinked at him before narrowing his eyes suspiciously. "Oi...the way you say that makes it sound--"

"NOT LIKE THAT, AHOU!"

Takagi-sensei gave a defeated sigh. "In any case, you might want to see Satou-sensei about this." His face reddened as he smiled awkwardly. "It would be in her field of study. More so than it is for me, I mean. Though I could suggest adjusting to the sudden move being the reason for this partial amnesia."

"Stress?" Hakuba asked while Kaito pulled his feet up so that he was sitting cross-legged, thinking carefully.

"Maybe," Takagi-sensei answered uncertainly.

_Doubt it. I can remember things, but none of it matches with what I'm seeing. Instead of Hattori and Hakuba acting their roles as detective after all suspicious people, they're treating me as if they've known me for ages. Not only that, but...my clothes, that room...they're not what I fell asleep in. _

...NONE OF IT MAKES SENSE!!

"Headache?" Kaito jumped at Hattori's voice being so near to his ear before sweatdropping and leaning away, a blank expression coming onto his face. The other teenager blinked in surprise. "What's wrong?"

Kaito rose and eyebrow and then looked at their positioning. "And I thought _Hakuba_ was the pervy fancier--_geh!_" He held his pained head while Hattori stood up straight, brushing his hands off. "What was that for?!"

Hakuba shook his head at the antics before turning to Takagi-sensei again. "You called Shinichi from class, right?"

"Ah, yes," the doctor answered. Kaito rolled his eyes to the ceiling at the reminder that there was still another detective running around. "I couldn't just confirm something was wrong with Kaito-kun and not tell his brother--"

_Twitch._

"Hold it." Everyone turned to look at a very tense Kaito, whose eyes were closed in a manner that suggested he was restraining himself from unnecessary action. "Could you repeat that?"

Takagi-sensei shifted. "I called Shinichi-kun out of class--"

"Got that much," Kaito said calmly, though more confusion and bewilderment threatened to have him yelling out that it was all lies and he'd had enough of this April Fool's prank. "What was that last part?"

"Oi..." Hattori said carefully, "don't tell me you don't..."

Kaito opened his eyes carefully, almost as if he were afraid of what he would see. "Since when," he said with strained control, "was Kudo Shinichi and I brothers?"

The three of them stared at him.

"Kudo...?" began Hattori with the same expression he had when Kaito had called them 'tantei.'

The magician sweatdropped. "Off a bit...?" he asked uncertainly, realizing that _a lot_ of things had changed over-night.

"Hmph," a voice commented from the door. Kaito looked over and blinked at the sight of a non-chibified not-Kudo Shinichi standing in the doorway, an exasperated expression grazing his visage a moment before he gave a wry smirk. "Figures you'd remember Heiji over me." The meitantei's eyes darkened then before he dropped the final bomb in a single word, "Niisan."

"..._GEH?!_" Kaito strangled out, eyes bugged out in shock. He pointed at his look-a-like before looking to Hakuba for confirmation. "_He's my_ LITTLE BROTHER?!"

Kudo made a derisive sound at that. "By six minutes," he muttered sourly.

"Kaito," Hakuba cut in before the thief could shout anymore. "are you saying you don't even remember your own twin brother?"

Kaito looked around the room, from face to face, before closing his eyes. Against all efforts, a small, timid noise and pained looked escaped his control. "I'm gonna be sick" he moaned.

"Gee," Kudo said somewhat sarcastically, "love you too, niisan. Let's hug and go back cookies with Kaachan now!"

"Oi," Hattori said in a reprimanding manner, "Dun be that way 'bout it, Shinichi. Kaito's just a bit confused, that's all."

"And I had to be called out of my class because my moronic brother can't take big changes like this in life?" Kaito twitched. Okay, Kudo was starting to touch on sensitive subjects there. Spoiled brat. "It's a bit pathetic, don't you think? I don't see why the Dean had him come here in the first place--"

"All right already!" Kaito cried, running a hand through his hair and giving Kudo a mild glare. "Man, do you ever go _on and on!_ Especially when your 'niisan's' not feeling well--"

Kudo took on a more blank expression. "Since when have _you_ ever been 'well?' "

"Since I didn't have to see your face, apparently," Kaito retorted with a similar expression.

"Hey now--" Hattori tried to interject but was stopped with a look from Hakuba.

"Oh, so you haven't looked in a mirror lately, idiot?"

"I don't see what that has to do with _your_ face, smartass--"

"We're _identical_, dumbass."

"I don't see the resemblence. And anyway, spoiled _brats_ like you are too _little_ to stand up against a person like me."

Kudo looked as if someone had thrown a brick to the back of his head. "What did you just say?"

Kaito smirked at his supposed younger twin brother. "I called you a spoiled _brat_." When Kudo's expression closed again, he continued to mock in a childish manner, "Spoiled brat. Spoiled brat Spoiled brat Spoiled--_Hey!_ No kicking objects at the amnesiac!"

Kudo was pulled back at the shoulder by Hattori so that he couldn't get near a chair that was standing near the doorway. For all the seemingly leathal intent behind his actions, the meitantei looked oddly composed. Said detective shoved the Osaka-jin away from himself before giving his older brother a cool, calculating stare and then leaving.

Kaito paused for a moment.

That _was the look Hakuba and Hattori are missing. Could that mean...?_

He paused that train of thought to stick his tongue out in the direction Kudo had gone. "Nyu! Stupid little brother!"

Hattori sweatdropped. "Well, they still _act_ like brothers," he muttered.

"Hm," Hakuba hummed thoughtfully, "but was it just me or did Shinichi seem a lot more...volatile than normal?"

Kaito blinked. "What?" he asked in surprise. "You mean he's not always such a tight-ass?"

Everyone gave him an odd look.

Kaito tossed up his hands. "I don't _think_ I ever did anything wrong! And why is it _always_ my fault whenever he's involved?" He crossed his arms and grunted with a sour look on his face. "Why can't I be a single-child again? I was a _lot_ happier and more relaxed that way--"

"Want me ta go checkup on Shinichi?" Hattori asked the blond detective, ignoring the magician's woes.

Hakuba sighed. "Please do. You seem to be able to deal with him better when he's in this sort of mood."

"--and what's with the insults and the running away routine? That's _my_ job, thanks--"

"A'ight, then," the Osaka-jin said before leaving the room with a puzzled look being shot at Kaito who was finishing with, "--and I mean, I knew we _looked alike_ but isn't this taking it a bit _far?_"

"Done now?" the half-Brit asked before turning to listen to previously silent Takagi-sensei for a moment.

Kaito sighed, putting his hands behind his head, elbows in the air, as he looked at the ceiling. He shrugged. "Sure. Why not? Unlike what Stickupmyass-san stated, I _can_ adapt to my situations and settings really well if need be."

Takagi-sensei cleared his throat for a moment before hesitantly speaking up, "Well, I've suggested to Saguru-kun that maybe taking you on a small tour would help you with your problem."

The kaitou grinned. "Cool." He hopped down from the examination bench and started off. "Let's go, then--"

"Actually, once Heiji calms him down some, Shinichi will come back and be your guide--"

Kaito fell against the doorway, eyes shedding crocodile tears as he said pitifully, "Hakuba's trying to keeeeeeel me!"

Not amused, said detective continued, "Hattori and I _will not_ be caught in another Kuroba feud, so you two had better grow up and get over whatever it is that you two are fighting about--"

"He started it!" Kaito objected childishly, turning to face the blond while pointing a finger down the hall.

An eyebrow rose. "You think I care who started it? Be the older brother you are and don't rise to the bait."

The magician pouted. "Why couldn't _I_ be the younger brother?"

"Apparently," Hakuba said wryly in response, "you have bad karma--"

"Or life, God, or whatever hates me," Kaito muttered.

"In any case," Takagi-sensei put in, looking somewhat nervous and wary of Hakuba's idea of putting the Kuroba brothers together again, "maybe if you have a tour of the campus with someone who knows you well, your memory will jog itself to its rightful...remembrance."

Kaito, who'd grabbed the chair that would have been Kudo's make-shift soccer ball and perched atop it, watched the doctor thoughtfully. "Uh huh..." he said slowly. "And if it doesn't?"

"Trip to Satou-sensei."

"Ah..." the thief bent his head upward and saw Kudo looking down at him with a frown. The older twin blinked. "Wow, you recover fast."

Without any warning or change in expression, the younger brother kicked the legs of the chair. Kaito only had time for an 'oh shit' look before--

_Bang!_

"Shinichi..." Hattori said carefully, walking in just as the chair tipped over, slamming Kaito against the ground. He watched the fallen teen then grab at the back of his head in pain.

Hakuba pinched the bridge of his nose as he sighed in exasperation.

Kaito looked up at his supposed brother again, wincing and eyes prickling with tears as the pain dulled to an ache. "Big bully..." he muttered.

Kudo squatted down, looking down at the other teenager with a smirk. "I thought you said I was 'too little to stand up against a person like' you."

"Cruel, big bully," Kaito amended with a slight pout as he hid his true elation.

_It's all an act. He was playing the role as little brother and left so quickly because he realized that I knew and that means he's the chibi meitantei I knew and-- _

...shit.

Without warning, Kudo pulled him to his feet and then wrapped an arm around his neck, smiling with gritted teeth at the others. "We should be at the cafeteria for dinner," the detective said, ignoring the thief's prostest that little brothers weren't supposed to do this to older brothers. "Usual table."

Hattori sweatdropped at the scene but answered, "Sure. Ran an' Aoko will be happy ta see Kaito's sumwhut normal again."

Kaito blinked, but because of Kudo's hold on him, all he could manage was a garbled, "Ackoho?"

"Cool," Kudo said before tightening his arm around his brother's neck. "Come on, _Kaito-niisan_, let's go see the sights."

Kaito gagged in response but allowed himself to be pulled away.

_Nothing good can come from this. Kudo knows! It's _obvious _he knows! Damn it!_

Kaito could only _wish_ that he was in a nightmare.

* * *

_Author's Notes: _Okay. So... should be writing stories that I haven't finished yet, but hey, this thing has been hidden away for about a year now. Not only that but I've been feeling a bit pitiful so I decided to post this in order to cheer myself up some. Heh. This is a fun story which I have no real idea where it will go. HOWEVER... I do have more of an idea with this fic than with some of my others. -snickers- So yeah. Funness 

More fics to come later Hopefully, that is. Until then--Ciao!


	2. Similar Differences

_Similar Differences_

-

When the hold around his neck finally loosened, Kaito asked somewhat dryly, "So I'm guessing you're not very happy being my little brother, huh?"

Kudo had a scary look on his face, the thief decided. It was that evil look that he knew and saw on Edogawa Conan's face when the shrunken detective would come up with an idea to catch Kaitou Kid...like blowing up a motorcycle. "Oh, I wasn't happy about being your brother since _I_ arrived here," the meitantei stated, that scary look only growing worse as he dragged Kaito up some stairs.

"Oh?" the kaitou asked, nonchalant. "Do tell."

"Do you know," Kudo started, seeming very much over-eager to tell all, "what it's like to wake up in your own body after being shrunken for over two years, only to find out that 1) you're not where you were when you fell asleep, 2) people you know don't seem to know you, 3) people you _don't_ know somehow know you, 4) your name isn't Kudo Shinichi but _Kuroba_ Shinichi, 5) you have an _older identical twin brother_ named Kuroba Kaito, 6) when said older brother finally comes he's the _Kaitou Kid_--"

"Man," Kaito broke in as they exited a door which apparently lead to a zone forbidden to students, "you have more identity issues than I do and I've posed as over a hundred people flawlessly--"

"Flawless my ass," Kudo huffed as they walked out onto the roof before letting the thief go. "I could _always_ tell when it was you--"

"Well, you're weird like that." Kaito frowned. "And this whole twin thing is really getting to me. Are you sure we didn't land in some sort of alternate reality or something...?"

Kudo walked passed him to lean against the tall wall that wrapped around the roof's edges, looking out the horizon. "That's the thing..." he said quietly. "I've been here for almost a month now and I haven't been able to tell if this reality's the fake or--"

"That's not right," Kaito objected, coming up beside the detective, who looked over to him curiously. "A month ago, I had that heist involving the painting. Remember? I was dressed as--"

"Takagi. Yeah, I remember." Kudo frowned heavily. "But I _have_ been _here_ for a month. I've counted the days because I...started to think that this place _is_ the real reality."

"That's not a pleasant thought," the thief said with much empathy, bringing a hand to his chin in thought. "But if _that's_ true, why would we--?"

"Twins," the detective answered the unfinished question dully. "People say that they have unique connections of the mind and considering we're the only ones who remember that reality--"

"Shit," Kaito said meaningfully, lowering his hand. "No wonder you got like that."

"Wanna know what's worse?" Kudo asked with a wry smile.

"Heh?"

Kudo stood up straight and put his hand to his chin. "You did this."

Kaito stared. "Okay, I have _never_ done that like that if I wasn't impersonating a detective--"

Kudo lowered his hand and turned his back to the wall, leaning against it. "You know," he said with a nostalgic air, "I learned that from my mother from whenever my father would skip out his editors and leave her clues to find him."

He lolled his head to where he was looking at his look-a-like once more. "Wanna know something else?"

Kaito eyed him warily. "What?"

Kudo pushed himself off of the wall. "About twenty years ago, a young, up-and-coming magician was put in an act with a beautiful, vivacious actress. They hit it off great and within two years, they were married. Another year later and they had a pair of twin boys--"

"YOUR MOM MARRIED MY DAD?!"

An irritated look crossed the younger twin's face. "You know _he_ proposed to _her_." Kaito spluttered but was ignored. "Kudo Yuusaku is still a famous detective novel writer who skips out on his editors. At the moment, he's in Colorado--"

"S-so you're saying that I did the little detective thing..." Kaito rubbed at his eyes, feeling a headache coming on at trying to process all the changes. "But that makes no sense! Especially if your mom never met your old man--"

"I never said they didn't meet."

"..._huh?_"

Kudo sighed and slowly sat himself down, gesturing for Kaito to do the same. The older of the two quickly did so, bringing up his knees and lying his aching head atop them. "Yeah, I figured you needed to sit or you'd pass out. Unlike me, who just asked normal questions without acting _too_ odd for others' expectations _and_ doing this for over a month, you got yourself noticed and have to be told everything at once so you can act the part--"

Kaito muttered random things about 'karma,' 'life,' and 'God or whatever' into his knees.

"Anyway," Kudo continued, turning his eyes forward as he also brought up his knees but used them to prop his elbows on while Kaito watched him out of the corner of his eyes. "The present Kuroba Yukiko knows Kudo Yuusaku from some performance of hers or something, but they fell out of contact for six years--in which she married Kuroba Toichi and had us, apparently. After the six years--we were supposedly two at the time--Yuusaku decided to show back up rather dramatically.

"To put it simply, he put on a 'who-done-it' mystery for Yukiko and Toichi to figure out. Kidnapping one of the twins probably took it a bit far, but...since then, he's been an odd sort of godfather of ours who I supposedly look up to and read _all_ of his books...feh..."

Kaito lifted his head, amused. "So that's why your detective-ness wasn't odd."

Kudo frowned. "I guess..." He sighed. "The point is though, you probably--if _this_ is the real reality--learned it from our mother when Yuusaku-jisan gives her a mystery now and then."

"That makes a creepy sort of sense," Kaito said with a restrained tone. Then his brow furrowed in thought. "But..."

Kudo looked over to him.

Kaito blew a sigh. "Well," he said with an impatient air. "Why's your name still Shinichi if I'm supposed to be the older brother?"

The detective blinked. "Oh, that." He snorted with amusement as he looked away again. "Well, my mom fought for it. Said that you cheated in getting the number one spot because they had to surgically remove us from her womb--something about her not dilating properly, I think. It took them six minutes to locate me because I was already entering the birth canal. So, she thinks that I'm actually the older one. There's all sorts of jokes and familial bickering because of it, I hear."

"Hah!" Kaito laughed aloud. "I knew there was a reason our behaviors didn't match our roles!"

Kudo shook his head. "Anyway, don't get thrown off by others saying you're the older brother, so you should act differently. How you've been acting is how people who really, quote-unquote, know us expect you to act. Especially your whining about wanting to be the younger one."

"That was not whining," the thief said with a frown. "That was continuously making objections."

"Sure," Kudo agreed for the sake of moving the conversation onward.

Kaito picked up on the hint almost immediately. "So where are we?"

"Tokyo, Japan." The detective grinned a bit at the look he was given. "A private school of sorts," he specified, the grin falling into a dark look. "I actually don't really know the purpose of the school, but there's one thing I know."

Kaito stared. "And what's that?"

Kudo's jaw clenched for a moment. "Everyone...wears black." He paused for a moment to see if Kaito had anything to say, which he didn't. He only continued to stare at the detective. "The boys, the girls, the staff--all black. What's worse...the police in Tokyo wear black--_all black_. To be honest...the only person I know that doesn't wear black is Toichi."

Kaito suddenly felt as if someone slapped him upside the head with a two-by-four. "Oyaji, he's--?"

"He's alive," Kudo concurred, eyes narrowing slightly. "There's been close calls, though. He had to stop being Kaitou Kid for eight years, but he's back at it. The only one who doesn't wear black."

Kaito gaped. "So I...never...?"

"As far as I know...no, you haven't. Which is why I didn't care about you being who you were until you made the short joke...and called me a brat."

"You so deserved being called a spoiled brat," the older teenager said with a snicker, pushing the shock away for the moment.

Kudo rolled his eyes. "All I have left to say is _be careful_. I know about those people gunning after you when you were Kid. They wore black, too, didn't they? _Never_ say anything about the other reality--which is becoming just plain _weird_ to say, you know. For all we know, those people in black brought us here or something--"

"Do you realize how paranoid you sound?"

"Better paranoid than dead."

Kaito winced. "Ouch. Touché," he conceded. "So...dinner now?"

Kudo blew a sigh, looking up at the darkening sky. "Yeah, why not. I think that's all you _really_ need to know. If something comes up, improvise."

-

-

As soon as they walked through the caferteria doors, Kaito understood Kudo's "everyone wears black" spiel. He even paused to look at himself and Kudo, who was watching him carefully. Yep. They were both wearing black.

"...this is more than a bit weird for me," Kaito commented with a frown.

Kudo grabbed his elbow and pulled him on, whispering, "Deal with it. You can wear all the white you want when we're allowed to go home for the weekend."

"Unless one of us gets detention or something, right?" Kaito hesitated for a second before giving the suddenly quiet Kudo a studious stare. "You...haven't gotten a detention and would happen to know what they're like, would you?"

"There _is_ no detention that I know of," the other teenager muttered.

Kaito sweatdropped. "That's...not a very happy though."

"Oi! Shinichi! Kaito! Over here!"

Kudo paused, dragging Kaito to a stop as they looked across the cafeteria. "That's Hattori and Hakuba," he said lowly before looking the confusedly blinking thief in the eye. "Remember. We're twin brothers here. So don't slip up and call me Kudo again or something. You'll spread rumors."

"Well, they'd be _interesting_ rumors--ack!"

Kudo withdrew his hand from thwacking his twin who shot him a dirty look. "Can't you act like a normal person for once? Is this how you act outside of the suit?"

Kaito blinked at him again before giving him a suspicious look. "You aren't going to use knowledge of my civilian persona against me, are you?"

Again Kudo took him by the arm and dragged him on. "_That_ we will discuss in more secure settings."

"Home for the weekend?"

The detective snorted. "You think it's safe there just because Toichi has that night job."

Kaito frowned but didn't respond.

_Damn detectives and their usually-correct paranoidly-made points of arguments._

"So," Hakuba spoke up as the pair made it to the table set in a random corner of the cafeteria, "I take it that things are settled between the two of you?"

"For the moment," Kudo replied, taking a seat next to Hattori and nicking a fry, making Kaito raise an eyebrow as he took a seat next to Hakuba. "What about you guys? Fun in class?"

"With Nakamori?" Hattori asked incredulously. "He was on another caffeine high because he stayed up all night at the Kaitou Kid heist--"

"Ooooh!" Kaito interjected, leaning forward eagerly. "Kaitou Kid? Heist? What happened?"

Hakuba waved a hand airily. "Heist note, heist, Kid got away again unscathed--"

"Un_scathed_?" Kaito blurted out with an emotion akin to horror and anger. "What, people _try_ to hurt Kid?"

Kudo sighed and grabbed another of Hattori's fries while the Osaka-jin stared at Kaito in disbelief. "Where have you been? Kid's dangerous, ahou." He paused before pursing his lips. "Though if you have amnesia, you _wouldn't_ remember the details."

"Details?" A sudden sinking feeling entered the put of his stomach as he looked to his younger brother, who shook his head. This was all new information to the meitantei.

"For the reasons why the condition for Kaitou Kid's arrest is Dead or Alive," Hakuba specified before taking a sip of his drink.

No words seemed to want to come after hearing that statement. It was with much mute thanks that Kaito listened as Kudo asked, nonchalant, "So what exactly did he do to get something as old-fashioned as 'Dead or Alive' for his bounty? Tabloids just make him out to be a nuisance."

Hattori stared at him. "You don't know either?"

Kudo frowned. "Magician-thieves don't catch my attention--"

"What about the seven government officials he killed?"

Both of the twins froze at that.

"Killed?" Kudo asked, recovering first. Kaito could see that the detective believed in the idea of Kaito Kid being violent as much as he believed in aliens from outer space. It was a strange relief to know his look-a-like couldn't think ill of Kid.

Hakuba's eyes narrowed. "It happened eight years ago and was the reason Kid went into hiding. The people of Japan were outraged and wanted retribution." He shrugged. "So now, they take pot shots at him during heists. Sometimes it's hard to blame them--him stealing Pandora after killing their leaders--"

"Pandora!" Kaito exclaimed with shock only to be hurriedly shushed by Hattori.

"Dun shout it so loud," the dark-skinned teenager whispered, covering one side of his mouth with a hand. "That thing's name's taboo 'round here nowadays."

Hakuba raised an apologetic hand. "Being that I didn't arrive in Japan until early this year, I never really have been able to see it as a taboo--"

"People get killed over it, dun they?" Hattori snapped irritably.

The half-Brit shrugged and just as nonchalantly turned away from the conversation.

"And that's why they try to kill him?" Kaito asked, Poker Face slamming down to hide his outrage. "Because of that people hate him?"

Hattori's brow furrowed. "Why else?"

Kaito sat back in his seat, suddenly seeing the black everyone wore a little more keenly. Distracted by that thought, he then looked down at his own clothes and pulled at his school uniform for a moment. For some reason, he was finding it harder and harder to breathe...

"Kaito?" Kudo asked with an amount of concern. That was enough to catch both Hakuba's and Hattori's attention. "Kaito, you okay?"

His hand let go of the cloth, and he took a moment to inhale and exhale deeply before giving a small smile. "Yeah, I'm fine," he said before laughing a bit, "I guess I'm still really confused about a lot of things. Didn't mean to worry you--"

"Confused or not," Hakuba interrupted, eyeing Kaito with an air that was somehow becoming more and more like the one Hakuba-tantei would use, "you looked like you were going to faint. Maybe you should get yourself something to eat--"

"No need," a new, decidedly female voice interjected somewhat angrily. "This idiot would starve if I didn't keep an eye on him."

If Kaito looked faint before, he definitely _felt_ like it right then. "Heiji...Saguru...Shinichi..." he said, absently remembering to be familiar with the three of them, "is there, by any chance, someone who would be labeled as an Amazonian glaring at me from behind?"

"Yep," Hattori said while looking back to his meal only to glare at Kudo who'd already eaten half of it.

"Appears so," Hakuba concurred, lifting his drink to take another sip.

Kudo remained silent, suddenly seeming to find the wall more entertaining.

Taking a deep breath, Kaito looked up into the angry face of--

_Mouri Ran?!_

The magician promptly fell out of his chair in surprise.

_What the hell's going on?! Why is she glaring at me like that when she should be-- _

Oh, hell _no! Kudo's her man!_ Not me! _This is just getting worse and worse! No wonder Kudo hates me!_

The girl who was supposed to be Kudo's soul mate looked down at Kaito with a 'hurrumph.' "Just _what_ do you think you're doing down there?" she asked, eye twitching.

_Don't say it! Aoko mop. Ran Karate. Do not. Say. Anything. Stupid--_

"Ad-admiring the view?"

Even Hakuba cringed when a foot landed solidly on Kaito's head.

* * *

_Author's Notes:_ Ahahaha... yes, I mess with ALL the pairings in this So you'll either A) be squicked and hate me or it, B) be squicked but read anyway, or C) oh you oeit, ohbby oh baby, give me more

But yeah. Messing with pairings... so much fun. And anyway, yeah, isn't this story so much fun? Which is why I JUST have to share it since it's kind of been sitting of to the side, pouting at me because I've only shared it on LJ so far. So... yeah. More to come sooner or later! Dunno when! You know me! Eventually:D


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